the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
