drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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