yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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