She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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