he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
