Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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