Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
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She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
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That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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