I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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