he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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