Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward