Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad