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hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
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