your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
