I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am naked and annoyed.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
