Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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