Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
