doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
