Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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