id be glad to
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
