First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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