i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
