I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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