Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
