i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
