I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
