I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
