It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
