no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
