every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
