White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
