It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Come see our sink grown plant.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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