Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
