i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
