He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When are your genitals available?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
