I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
