I'm so fucking centered right now
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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