worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
