I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
