Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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