kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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