hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
