every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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