Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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