yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
