What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
