I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
