and i looked up. we had an audience...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
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nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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