i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she smelled like a LAN party
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
