I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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