y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
