it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
