I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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