so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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