She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize