So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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