I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize