The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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