Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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