he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
