love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
