so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
