i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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